There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
