Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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