She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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