1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
