margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize