im drinking this country out of the recession.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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