yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
