I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
