38 yer olds are good kisserssss
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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