Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
