party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
