My friends, they love my intelligence
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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