Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize