Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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