I heard we made out
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
