happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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