I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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