I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
