i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
