Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
