haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Green mimosas i think yes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
