Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
