Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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