your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
