i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
