i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
