the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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