I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
sex in a hospital.. check
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
