New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
