If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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