Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
