Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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