Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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