If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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