dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
