After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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