The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
