when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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