You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
