Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
