I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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