ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
someone owes me an orgasm
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
