Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
