I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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