Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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