I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
