took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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