she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
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why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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