when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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