Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
