How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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