I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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