That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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