I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
