Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
