I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
