i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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