There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
