Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
